little in life has changed... but there are so much i've gained, this year has been a splendid one. along w joyful exciting holidays celebrated throughout the year, loves received from everyone i adore, too much fun to say good bye.. but i am sure that next year will give me more, no more heartbreaks to think of, hopefully, surviving this path, to get to a greater purpose in life,...HAPPY NEW Y...

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a new page

letting go is d hardest part.. in my life, i tot thts it.. i will b with the same person till forever.. i didnt realize tht i am going to mess up my own future.. my happiness.. wic i tot was with him.. i am trying very hard to let go.. y cant i just sleep n wake up without a tiny memory of him..i dun mind getting amnesia for all its worth.. i cant take being apart.. having to c him only in my dreams, wat can i say.. i did this to myself..i turned away from the one i loved,.. hardly i tried to get him back.. i pushed him so far,.....

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~jazzy mood~

dudududu~~ flunking radiology was one of the reason my head almost burst up.. being in sardjito and 'being hooked up' with sum annoying FELLAS makes my blood rushes to me brain.. having to wake up early in d morning, waiting for sen to gimme a ride to the hospital makes my feet glued to the floor.. having to sit and wait endlessly in front of the smf for the docs to come for an appointment makes me feel like flying back home NOW.. listening to troubles and sounds of annoying voices around me makes me regret being in YOGYA.. having people addressing me...

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i love himi dont love himi still love himi don't need himi need himi can't live without himi can live without himi missed himi cant stop thinking bout himI WANT HIM...

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can't stop

i was singing to ne-yo's beat when it occurs to me how my life will b without him,.. the one who i'd come home on d weekends for.. it has been sometime since i fell in love,.. v hooked up after i broke up with my ex.. he was always there for me.. listening, with patience,.. d shoulder i cried on for all this time.. i cant believe tht it is over.. i wouldnt say its his fault neither would i say its mine.. maybe the love just fades,.. maybe v just got tired of each other. i am too pushy.am i? how annoying am i? does it really takes people a whole year to...

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our first raya~~&^$%$^&%*&~~

this is the first raya for all of us here.. in indonesia, away from our loved ones.. well, except for nadya,.. cos aunty, uncle n adik is here.. thankfully,.. aunty cook foods which can be called food for us!! heheh.. if v la, dunno whether cook or not.. maybe sleep the whole day till start to work again:Pwell, aunty cook since last nite,.. then v buka puasa together,.. this morning, i woke up at 845am.. tu pun cos i received a txt from nesa asking if im awake or not,. then i txt her asking if she's ready dy.. alamak,.....

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~~SELAMAT HARI RAYA 'IDUL FITRI and MAAF ZAHIR BATIN TO ALL:)...

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~miserable~

im feeling so miserable this week. i hav a groupmate who's so bz,.. isk isk.. dah buat jadual tuh ikut jadual la.. ni byk songel lak.. aku sepuk kang b tau:Pmy lappy is in lappy island hospital.. kena warded.. tadi i bawak dia for med check up kos of symptoms macam i cant load any pages in mozilla,.. and it turns out that it has been infectd.. funy how i got to know it,. heee.. i asked the tech to reinstall a new anti-viral for my lappy,..then when he un-install my kapersky's... dia cakap-->mba, sistemnya udah diserang,..erk.. i didnt get it at first.....

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

hey babes... walaupun u merana in god knows wer.. i hope u had a blasting time with us last week.. happy bday,..gal.. tua itu membuat kite makin sempurna, umur cuma angka yang kalau kite xtulis,.. org xkan tau!!..stay cute babessss...

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me n hafiz:)

5 days in yogya... i cuma bw u g kraton n shopping je.. damn,..sian u.. bz, bz, bz.. ngeh ngeh ngeh... but u hav to admit.. tht nite was really splendid kan:) yeayyy..yeayyynext time i'll try to layan u lebey skit ...

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a day at the HOSpiTAL~~

huhuhuhu... sian my fren:( dia datang, i bawak dia melawat Sardjito Hospital jer..kuang kuang kuang.. nway, it was fun.. thnx for d c...

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a sad song to me-----(&%$%#%)

I'm holding on your rope Got me ten feet off the ground And I'm hearing what you say But I just can't make a sound You tell me that you need me Then you go and cut me down But wait... You tell me that you're sorry Didn't think I'd turn around and say.. That it's too late to apologize, it's too late I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late I'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you And I need you like a heart needs a beat (But that's nothing new) Yeah yeah I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue And you say Sorry like an...

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ShHHIIitt!!!!

shit!!!fuck!!shit!!...hahhaha..bastard gileeeeeeee... sumtimes, things just have to end, new relationships has to start, new love will come but i'll be always be me,.. tu la... cisss... its me laaaaaaa.....

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BAnyuMAs

i was in BM for almost a week.. huhuuu.. it was tiring... sgt2.. byk keje, so stressful, no only the environment, d people, d food, d routine, everything,.. mayb cos my group is smaller compare to d others.. it makes the work more per se.. our superb were angry at us most of the time, he thinks that v r all lazy kids.. with no good intentions .. no effort, nothing, v r all there to go jalan2.. pls, la... if i wanna go jalan2.. baik balik msia, jalan n shop in KL.. there's nothing in BM,.. ada pun mcm kedai runcit kat kelantan...

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~happy~happy~

next week ma fren is coming.. i cant wait!cant wait!.. hohooo.. am counting days n hours to it.:))...

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HE~~~@#$%^&!!

he texts,he calls,v talked,v chat,he remebers,he sings,he kiss,he hugs,he loves,he failed,he dissappoints,he approve, he stumbles,he flew,he raised,he crossed,he hailed,he admires,he adores,he wants,he lingers,he lied,he cheated,he appologizes...whenever he's there, and i'm here, whenever he's accompanied, and i'm alone,whatever it takes for us to b together,whatever it costs to stay forever,however v'll survive in this distance,however v'll go on in this pain,whichever path v're gonna take,whomever person that v'll believe,there's always me and you and...

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today, i went to malioboro mall.. bought my self sumthing new.. i wanted to get McD's.. but i ended up shopping.. i bought a new puma shoe, a new airwalk sneakers, a new marieclaire shoe, 2 nike socks, a new bag and a new compartment to put all my lovely handphones in... ngeh ngeh ngeh.. cilaka, still i am still depressed.. sumtimes relationships just makes u wanna go out and have a long walk.. uhuksss...:))i love myself n my family!!! frens and teachers.. ...

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*gals-day-out*

the thing that i love bout weekends is that wenever everyone is in town,.. v cud spend sum time together.. like d old days...ngeh ngeh ngeh:)).. today,.. nina baru balik lagi ke bayu mas,.. sheen just came back, prems is in KL, nesa is stressed up with exams,.. nad is happy as always, n me,.. i'm so-so.. talking bout me,.. i dunno wats wrong with me,.. lately, i've been very stressed up, with work, study, group members, 'frens'.. u know wat i mean.. huhu.. damn,.. i'm playing with my own feelings, deep down, i still dunno wat...

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~anesthesi~

hohooo... i ngah department anesthesi.. ni dah nak habis dy,.. this saturday will b my last laporan pagi di anesthesi yang i have to go oo...:))))hari ni i maju for exam,.. but xlepas la.. makcik,.. ET kantoi.. ngeh ngeh ngeh..ok.. in anesthesi, pagi2 u have to come around 630, dengar mereka berceloteh,.. yg aku xberapa faham, then staf akan marah2 residen and buat residen rasa macam mereka bodoh giler...:))).. then it will end around 830-9am, hehehe.. banyak je modal mereka ngak ngomen2.. siap ada lawak lucah, kotor, jijik...

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~f0rEnsiC~

this is my first department,..i started on 26th mei... n supposed to finish by 7th june.. bCos of sum technical thingy.. uhuksss... have to go to forensic until now.. buhsan !! its thursday,. 12th of june .. n i just finished my last discussion of laporan kasus.. it was menyebalkan gilerrrrrrr... that's a pic of dr. soegandhi,.. damn old guy, he talks so slow... i cant really hear or understand nything.. damn.. n there's only 1 resident there.. she dont wanna ACC our visum..ueksssssss... aper la... v all dah la ada 7 cases.....

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ConVO~~

yeay yeayyy... these are some of the pics wic v took from our phones before d ceremony.. hohooo... v r so happy!!!.. late work n lazy sundays coming ahea...

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issues

everyone has it.but sumtimes it gets the best of u.. wen he told me that i am trying too hard, i didnt get any idea in which area too hard is.. haha.. but still, with the plans changing and all, it made me think.. n i really am thinking.. huhu.. gosh,..i really tot i had it.. v had sumthing, n r really committed to it... not until last thursday, wen he popped out his plans... future-self plans.. hohoo.. it was quite shocking.. i love him too much to just walk away, but at the same time i am afraid to wait and c wat it'll turns out to be.. damn me,..damn...

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lonely

n thats wat i'm feeling rite about now..hurm, life is surprisingly filled with heartache, sorrows and frustrations.....

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--mussels--

i went to c4 today, to get myself sum stuff to make hylmi's cake.. then i saw this fresh mussels.. ohoo..it was rp1104/100gr .. i bought them and cook for my frens...cos d previous day, my frens cook for me after i get down from kaliurang trekking..hohoo.. i am really blessed...

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~suppressed~

i am so depressed, i had been a medical student long enuff to suddenly feel this.. my emotions are suppressed with my feelings of betrayal, hatred, envy and ignorance. if only i could get sum time out of this and continue my life wer i left it.. that wud be after my SPM.. have fun, hanging out with frens, do all the crazy stuff and carry my own problems without burdening anyone. Being with someone just makes you crazy, cranky, bitchy and wat not annoying,.. it seems that doing everything just doesnt pays off.. wat else shud u do to get attention? d'oh, go...

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--foresEEn--

have u ever thought if ur bf is cheating on u?hahaha.. perhaps everyone is cheating, it's just how n where differs it. if u are on a diet but u ate junk foods, u r definitely cheating your diet plan, if u are training for a marathon but u skip one training day, u r definitely cheating on ur effort. if u work hard to be a medical student but u hung over and let the days passed meaninglessly, u r cheating on ur future!!.. so in every aspect in life, ppl tend to cheat not only on others but also on themselves... ironic isn't it?haha...back to the main issue......

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one down...another to go!!!! just bought myself a size 7 glove,..cost me rp6k.. walaweiii..it sounds damn expensive la..ahaks :).. i really need a break.. n i'm confuse.. being alone makes me think.....

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esok n monday exam!!!nooooooooooooooooo........

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~ Lost ~

There are times in our life where v feel like its useless. Doing anything will only make things worst. When u would just wanna lay back on your bed, emptying your thoughts and letting it linger. The truth is you just wanna run away from everything, cause u think its worthless. Putting all those effort, knowing that it'll only end up bad. No matter what u do, no matter how different u wanna change things, no matter where or how or who u do it with, it doesn't matter... Cause with u, everything is a mess. I've been spending the...

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Is he the one??

Love is a passionate feeling that people feels for each other.. it can be between anyone in d world.. frens, lovers, families.. but wen it comes to a relationship, love affair, etc.. watever u wanna call it,.. v tend to get nervous wen we have to choose,.. take a fren of mine for instance,.. she is happily dating to a 31 yo guy,.. yet,..she still contacts her ex... a 26 yo cute guy,..ahakss.. and in her spare time,..she still talks n flirts to others.. occassionally,..it shud b ok.. but wat will happen wen one of them ask for her hand in marriage? c, wen...

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its a green green day

...

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yesterday, today n tomorrow

as times goes by, we looked back at the things that we regret, things tht we missed, things that we wish are still with us.. it was a clear day wen i sat on my bed, next to the window,.. looking at the sky, thinking of my mistakes and my achievements... throughout the past 23 years.. and i'm glad i have you... i thought of my exes.. and the mistakes tht i done ,..wat chase them away,.. then i thought of d way i treat you.. maybe i'm taking it for granted,.. cos u r always there for me... i never imagine a day without you.but yesterday, today n the days ahead...

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