There are times in our life where v feel like its useless. Doing anything will only make things worst. When u would just wanna lay back on your bed, emptying your thoughts and letting it linger. The truth is you just wanna run away from everything, cause u think its worthless. Putting all those effort, knowing that it'll only end up bad. No matter what u do, no matter how different u wanna change things, no matter where or how or who u do it with, it doesn't matter... Cause with u, everything is a mess. I've been spending the past week watching Monk, PSych, Charmed and Grey's anatomy.. it was not gonna stop,..the marathon. unless i pull myself together and start studying which in my case is something hard to do.. I've been a bummer.. nodding on my fates of losing, crash and burn with my feelings. I thought of just going home to my family, being with them makes this much easier. Surely I have to endure my dad's nags and my mom's attitude but still all that comparing to my life right now,.. will be the one thing that I really wanna face. And now i'm putting up words to make sentences in my blog.. when i should be studying for my clinical reasoning and minor surgery... well,..dont be astonished by it yet.. it's really un'cool'.. ciao..
Love is a passionate feeling that people feels for each other.. it can be between anyone in d world.. frens, lovers, families.. but wen it comes to a relationship, love affair, etc.. watever u wanna call it,.. v tend to get nervous wen we have to choose,.. take a fren of mine for instance,.. she is happily dating to a 31 yo guy,.. yet,..she still contacts her ex... a 26 yo cute guy,..ahakss.. and in her spare time,..she still talks n flirts to others.. occassionally,..it shud b ok.. but wat will happen wen one of them ask for her hand in marriage? c, wen v started the whole 'couple' thing,.. v never actually tot tht v'll end up being together forever for d rest of our lives.. v may thought tht it was just for fun and,..if the relationship turns out well and gives you 8 out of 10 good points out of it,.. u'd surely continue the relation.. but if its not,..u'll still think wats d best for u... put away the interest of ur couple.. hahahha.. well,.. it may sound selfish.. but to stay happy.. thts wat people always do.. so there's nothing wrong about tht.. and always remember tht if anyone should sacrifice in the relationship,..its NEVER you..
people always correlates love and sacrifices.. thts BULLSHIT!! everyone should have their goals in life and prioritize them,.. never take any of them for granted for anything else.. ESP a relationship... cos once u made a bad choice and u thought back... what if... u had let him go and go on with ur dreams... u will surely regret all d sacrifices u made..(kuang'kuang'kuang')
so i was browsing on this fine day,..and guess wat i ran into?gegeggege...
an article similar to this... “Is this man or woman worth my time? Are we going tomake each other better for being with each other, or doeshe or she make me feel something I have never felt before?”If it’s not the exact internal questions, they certainly are notfar off. If our intentions are truly built on a “good heartedfoundation” then not hiding the truth about ourselves whenmeeting others is a simple task. We can love who we areinside and then proceed to market that love so someoneelse can enjoy it.However, we hide and not reveal what we know are ournegatives without working internally on them beforeproceeding into another relationship, where we can injectthem all over again. If we ironed out our problems beforedelving full fledged into another committed relationship,then we wouldn’t have to “put our best foot forwardbecause we would have both feet already firmly on theground.” It all starts with you and taking personal accountability foryour own heart and what you truly seek in a perspectivemate. False impressions of all positives about yourself put adishonest spin into a relationship from the get go and pointit for a tenuous at best, future. When you get to know yourself inside and out and whatyou truly want from a relationship is when you will know ifa relationship has a future or not.Work on eliminating your negative personality traits beforeever pursuing a committed relationship. Then attempt toefficiently read your perspective mate's honest intentionsbefore you invest too much time. If done correctly, youwill have increased your odds exponentially for a long termrelationship and stacked them confidently in your favor.
as times goes by, we looked back at the things that we regret, things tht we missed, things that we wish are still with us.. it was a clear day wen i sat on my bed, next to the window,.. looking at the sky, thinking of my mistakes and my achievements... throughout the past 23 years.. and i'm glad i have you... i thought of my exes.. and the mistakes tht i done ,..wat chase them away,.. then i thought of d way i treat you.. maybe i'm taking it for granted,.. cos u r always there for me... i never imagine a day without you.but yesterday, today n the days ahead of us.. i know u'll b busy for me.. the transmission is very hard for me. i cant imagine a day without ur sms, without a call, owh..shit.. i'm gonna b so lonely.. but i have faith in u and me.. n i want u to succeed in everything tht u do..even if u have to leave me, or put me aside... i'll still b here waiting for u.. listening to u.. and loving u..
after awhile... i stare at my door,.. sometimes i wish tht u wud surprise me.. u'll knock on my door.. quietly u jump on me n u'd c my tears flow... happily in the warmth of ur body,.. u hugging me.. baby.. u can b VERY predictable but sumtimes.. it wont kill to have me jumping around in joy.. too much too ask i presume.. u re being so nice, comforting me even with listening.. i really do love u..
Hey there my baby
What's it like in Kajang City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But boy, tonight you look so nerdy
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true
Hey there my baby
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise
I'm by your side
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me
Hey there my baby
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, boy
Someday I'll make u lunch from our kitchen
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good
Hey there my baby
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
my baby I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame
Hey there my baby
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and I'll be done with school
And I'll be making breakfast like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there my baby here's to you
This ones for you
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.
i have been experiencing insomnia since i got back here.. i still cant cope with the environment after 3 n half years travelling back n forth ... damn... asking myself.. wat keeps me awake? well, one thing i know is tht i keep thinking of problems which i could b having..urmm,.. ridiculous isnt it...well,..hell, ya!! who thinks of problems which is not really one..erk.. duhhh.. i think i MAY B on drugs.. well,..not yet...i'm still good.. cos if i'm stoned.. i'll b talking crap(s).. so much nonsense that i think i cud puke on my own shit... hurmmm..
so what do i do wen i cant sleep.. i think of my family, frens, thesis, study, clinical, BF.. ahaksss.. n i start making myself complicated ..well, i AM a complicated girl afterall.. so wat do u expect??
daaaaaaaaa.. isnt it obvious? i'm afraid of commitments, i dont socialize much, i spend more than 15 hours in my room,..excluding my sleeping hours,.. shoot....... i need a LIFE!!!.. gimme one! dammit... i am one depressed medical student...
masa nih ngah lapar sangat....dudududu.. i just came back..so groceries xder... so this is what i made..eheksss.. ada wheat spaghetti, broccoli, small prawns, potatoes...ekekekke i sauted some shallots n garlics and rosemary and d prawn...uh uh uh...using olive oil.. d other veges... i boiled saja... but i didnt boil tht long... i dont like d vege to be to soft..urmm.. then i add everything together.. and..uh uh uh...ma saladdddddddd...
