cry baby cry~~
it was last thursday when i realised that everyone around me is no longer here... it makes me sad thinking of the days which i'm gonna go trough alone..well, i can be a loner..but sometimes i need my friends and their comforting words.. having noone around really makes me feel how bless i am when they were there for me...thnx u guys:)..
so..another 2 months before i can go home.. be around people whom i love and cherish.. suddenly a devastating news came upon me.. well,..it seems that for some reason,..i wont be able to get my certificate until march/april.. god,please help me go tru these dissappointing days.. i am crushed.. into a million pieces.. i cant breath and suddenly i feel like fainting.. i saw lights and clouds and all of a sudden my mind was blank..i dont know y..i just couldnt think..
there's an ent exam next week.. i'm thinking of studying but once i sat in front of my table.. opened my book.. i couldnt help but to stare endlessly to nothing!!!.. is that what my future holdsss??? ohhhhhhh,... what would my mom say if she's still here with me? i've never been very close to her when i was a child..but it seems that after an incident..she changed and we became closer.. but it didnt stay long.. cause God loves her more to let her stay in this hipocrite world!!.. just when i tot i finally felt her love.. she had to go..
i am not good dealing with problems.. as i tend to cry n cry n cry.. n i'll start thinking about my mom and all the things that i've done in the past to deserve this.. everything flashes right in front of me.. i cant sleep..i cant think..i cant enjoy my food.. everything seems tasteless and flat..
if i could live in the past..i'd choose my high school years.. right before spm.. when i could change everything.. from there.. my life could actually turn differently..
ohh..how i wish.. but it'll always stay a dream.. hope..
