today, i went to malioboro mall.. bought my self sumthing new.. i wanted to get McD's.. but i ended up shopping.. i bought a new puma shoe, a new airwalk sneakers, a new marieclaire shoe, 2 nike socks, a new bag and a new compartment to put all my lovely handphones in... ngeh ngeh ngeh.. cilaka, still i am still depressed.. sumtimes relationships just makes u wanna go out and have a long walk.. uhuksss...:))
the thing that i love bout weekends is that wenever everyone is in town,.. v cud spend sum time together.. like d old days...ngeh ngeh ngeh:)).. today,.. nina baru balik lagi ke bayu mas,.. sheen just came back, prems is in KL, nesa is stressed up with exams,.. nad is happy as always, n me,.. i'm so-so.. talking bout me,.. i dunno wats wrong with me,.. lately, i've been very stressed up, with work, study, group members, 'frens'.. u know wat i mean.. huhu.. damn,.. i'm playing with my own feelings, deep down, i still dunno wat i really want in a relationship.. 'if i have one'.. i'm a psycho manic depressed late teen with improper menstrual cycle and loads of things in my mind,.. but none i had ever took time n thought about yet.. 
hohooo... i ngah department anesthesi.. ni dah nak habis dy,.. this saturday will b my last laporan pagi di anesthesi yang i have to go oo...:))))
hari ni i maju for exam,.. but xlepas la.. makcik,.. ET kantoi.. ngeh ngeh ngeh..
ok.. in anesthesi, pagi2 u have to come around 630, dengar mereka berceloteh,.. yg aku xberapa faham, then staf akan marah2 residen and buat residen rasa macam mereka bodoh giler...:))).. then it will end around 830-9am, hehehe.. banyak je modal mereka ngak ngomen2.. siap ada lawak lucah, kotor, jijik dan mengiurkan skali...:pppp... oh, then v masuk operation theatre.. di mana v all jadi penyangak,..kadang2,.. dan giler rajin sedikit waktu jer...
ngeh ngeh ngeh.. then ikut la operation sampai habis d whole day tuh... around 230pm, they akan start tulis jadual for the next day di papan seperti gmbr di atas tuh.. tu mereka ngah seybok2 la tuh.. sambil aku amik2 gmbr.. ngeh ngeh.. kalau kite xmenyiibuk juge,..alamat, xder la case untuk d next day.. then after v got our case, v'll start visiting patients and pre op... biasala.. amik tensi, nadi, bla bla bla,..vital signs n blood, ecg n thorax.. plg lama pun i pernah duduk sampai kul 7,.. tunggu result siap.. then kalau u kena jaga,.. u boleh la balik kejap n mandi.. ngeh ngeh.. then jagalah kamu sampai kul 7am..
then start balik rotation biasa... itu la anesthesi.. buhsan kan..
:))
this is my first department,..i started on 26th mei... n supposed to finish by 7th june.. bCos of sum technical thingy.. uhuksss... have to go to forensic until now.. buhsan !! its thursday,. 12th of june .. n i just finished my last discussion of laporan kasus.. it was menyebalkan gilerrrrrrr... that's a pic of dr. soegandhi,.. damn old guy, he talks so slow... i cant really hear or understand nything.. damn.. n there's only 1 resident there.. she dont wanna ACC our visum..ueksssssss... aper la... v all dah la ada 7 cases.. till friday baru habis..now wen finally habis everything,.. x bebas visum lakss.. damn, ppl!!! aper la.. macam la aku suke sgt mem'bosy'kan diri kat forensic tuh.. dah ler ramai anak2 dr uni lain.. geh geh geh... but then.. i just finished my exam today,.. it was ok.. though it was almost a two hour session of oral questionning,.. but other than that, dr yudha and dra. suhartini were very understanding of my language difficulties and were very helpful..ngeh ngeh.. wen i xtau jawab,.. mule lah wat muke tersengih2 macam kerang busuk yg kena buang dalam tong sampah taik...:((((...ahakss...
i just cant wait to enter anesthesy and finish all d departments, n go back!!! well... at least i cant wait to finish till surgery.. then leh balik raya...yeay!!!
everyone has it.but sumtimes it gets the best of u.. wen he told me that i am trying too hard, i didnt get any idea in which area too hard is.. haha.. but still, with the plans changing and all, it made me think.. n i really am thinking.. huhu.. gosh,..i really tot i had it.. v had sumthing, n r really committed to it... not until last thursday, wen he popped out his plans... future-self plans.. hohoo.. it was quite shocking.. i love him too much to just walk away, but at the same time i am afraid to wait and c wat it'll turns out to be.. damn me,..damn u.. damn us!!
~i resent my life and his~
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